Entire country knows Bangla and only Bangla. You meet a non – bong, and it goes like this:
“Oh, Bengali! AAMI TOMAAKE BHALOBASHI! Ami jabe. Ami roshogolla khabe. Maach bhaat.”
Happens every time. It doesn’t happen with the rest, Indians do not know other languages they know Bangla, they only know Bangla.
Bengalis are not all about:
- Doing black magic: We are not black magic professionals. Many people who think that way is because we worship goddess Kaali, an incarnation of Durga. Her puja involves midnight Aarti, animal sacrifice and extensive fast. In addition, her appearance, color and the tongue are often mistaken to be a form of some black magic. She is the goddess of power who fights against Asurs (monsters) to protect us. According to the mythology, when the people on Earth were suffering because of Asurs, Kali decided to protect the people. But, knowing her aggression, lord Shiva tried to control her from doing so. There were chances that it would cause huge destruction even to the common people. In order to restrain, he laid down at the door from where Kali was about to leave. Accidently, she stepped on Shiva’s chest and realizing her mistake, she slipped out her tongue. From then, Kali is being worshipped in that posture with Shiva being laid down. We worship her like we do to the other gods. Hope, I could make some clarity.
- Eating fish every moment: We love fish! Yes, we do! But that is not we are born for or live for. We also eat vegetables, dals and a whole lot of things which just goes unnoticed due to that stupid fish. Try our Begun Bhaaja, Khichudi, Biryani and some more.
- Wearing black, thick glasses, jhola and Khadi kurta: Sigh! Sigh! Seems you never checked our silk kurtas. At the same time, our men are seen in suits, shirts and jerseys. Never heard of Amartya Sen, Mir, Dibakar Banerjee, Sabyasachi???? We are intellectuals with a streak of awesome looks and a fabulous tinge of humor.
- Making weird sounds during weddings: The peculiar sound that women make during weddings is called as ‘Uluk dhwani’. It is considered to be auspicious during a wedding, pujas and other major events. This sound fills the air with positivity and adds to the festive flavor.
- Wearing red and white sari almost on all occasions: Aah! You are a bong, you wear red and white sari at home, you wear it in that different form? Not again people! Not again! We do not wear that at home. We have lot of clothes in the wardrobe. That sari is worn on special occasions such as Durga Puja or any similar festivity.
- Putting sweet in all food items: We do not breathe sweet in and out. If sweet is what you have experienced till date, you surely never saw the sight of Kosha Mangsho or Ghugni.
- Wearing monkey caps at the knock of November: I know! I know! You saw a lot of uncles and Daadus in monkey caps even when winters were yet to cast its real spell. But, that doesn’t mean we all wear it and run around the jogging park. We are healthy and just believe in taking extra precautions in any form.
- Singing 24*7: We worship Tagore, Kishore and Burman. Yet, we devote time on other things in life like job, family and friends. Music helps us to rejuvenate and come to terms with the mundane life.
- Women being hot and men being dumb: Why on Earth did you never notice Priyanshu chatterjee, Jishu Sengupta, Parambrata, Abir, Ayan Mukherjee, Vishwajeet Chatterjee, Uttam Kumar, Indraneil Sengupta and our president? And you remained glued to Bipasha, Riya and Raima. Sad!
- Conceiving just one child and pampering till he/she is insane: It is just a coincidence that many bong couples prefer having just one child. I can give you a list of people who bore more than four kids and survived happily. Unnecessary pampering and over protection do not encompass bong parents. We have got beaten and blasted at all intervals of our lives. On top of everything, we have struggled equally like other kids have.
- Being arty sharty: You utter your surname and their comes a response ”Bongs are very intelligent, very intellectual, high fi people”. And yes, how on Earth do you connect intellect with that round big bindi, thick glasses, jewelry, or our choice for sarees? We are normal humans and that inch of difference happens because we appreciate and deeply admire art and culture in all forms. The more we do it, the more knowledgeable we become. Try it, it is interesting.
- Getting married late: I do not know where does that come from. So many bong friends of mine married even before they cut their silver jubilee cakes. And even if there are who marry late, there could be thousands of reasons behind such decisions. And I know a galore of non bong people who were still searching for the ‘right one’ even after many Christmas evenings had passed. Most of the bongs are self-made and believe in settling financially in the right order so that they can easily meet with all the expenditures easily. This settling down takes time, probably why sometimes the ‘knot’ takes the back seat. That doesn’t mean we really do not care. We are concerned, deeply!