The above headline has a profound meaning and I know, many will second the thought. I cannot start talking about this topic if I do not mention about a film I saw a year ago ‘Icche’ (desires). This Bengali film was based on a topic which seemed too trivial to even ponder about. A mother obsessed with her only child (son) and levying all her aspirations on him to fulfill. Refusing to accept that the son had become a fully grown up man who had a personal life, the mother continued to suppress the son to seek her goals.
Few scenes still haunt me such as tucking his T-shirt while he is leaving for college, barging into her son’s room when he is changing, and worst of all, reading out his love letters aloud in his absence to his friends. This phenomenon may not be too peculiar with Indian society in mind. Possibly, a lot of parents tend to trespass into their child’s life in the name of ‘concerned towards well-being’. Chances are, many parents do not realize what they are doing.
Considering age gaps between parents and children, opinions are ought to differ and make them distance from each other. Parents should use their wisdom and a realistic approach towards children, and therefore, keep up a logical methodology while bringing up their child. Listening to the child is extremely important and knowing what he wants. No wonder why, celebrity children appear more mature and sensible.
At this point, I am bound to share a family friend’s story. This girl had a Master’s degree in literature and was a teacher. Being born to a Bengali father and Punjabi mother, the upbringing did not keep her stick to any particular community. Hardly aware of Bengali language and culture, she was married to a Bengali from lower caste and least education. The striking part of this marriage was, the girl did not speak to the man before wedding. The story followed an awkward camouflage of two people from two backgrounds where the man suppresses her with mundane demands. In addition, this person expects a plot of land and money from his in laws. I wonder,whatever made the girl remain mum throughout.
It is important to value your child, his/her talents and listen to what he or she wants. I repeat ‘listen’.
Across a lot of families, a daughter’s life is still restricted to only education and then marriage. I appreciate that over the years, approach has changed and higher education has become a strong emphasis. But, what is the point in earning an MBA and then clinging to the household forever. My friend has a similar story who was at home since her degree completed in management (her family doesn’t allow daughters to go to work). After reaching heights of celebrating doldrums, she exhibited her unwillingness to stay at home and do nothing. Four long years of youthfulness and not doing anything, sigh! Finally, she joined an organization after she had enough with idleness. I appreciate the fact that she raised her voice and aimed to do something for herself. I wish if all sons and daughters raise their opinions and share it across. You see, not always parents are correct, not always children are wrong.