What actually happens when you are at an interview!


This satirical article written in present tense shall tell you what goes on in mind when yinterviewou go for an interview. Hope you are able to relate.

I reach the venue and realize that the respective company has nestled itself at the 8th floor. I take the lift and reach the office. Amidst construction work, laborers walking by and an eerie silence, I finally see some humans – the staff of the company. I am greeted by an old guard at the gate and after filling in some details, I am made to sit at the reception area.

The company seems to be one of those posh offices equipped with every little detail you can expect. An advertising look alike, the company has a bunch of young men and women working in full chorus. I continue to wait till I am given some papers to fill. Ah! Glorious! It asks for my matriculation grades and the size of my intestine. I fill them with full confidence and give them back. The receptionist sheepishly smiles at me while he collects the papers. I again get back to my seat. I am treated nice with coffee and an opportunity to gaze around for a while. Serious and warm, the environment is.

While, I wait, I see a sophisticated young girl enter office who I mistake as a white. As I feel she is a white, later I hear her speak native. Yayy! She isn’t white. This way, I manage to spend some time waiting. Later, I am graduated to the conference room by the senior IT manager and asked to wait. Now, I can stare around much clearly, every employee, every chair, every door etc. As I make myself comfortable, two men crane their neck in my direction to get a clear view of the latest entry. They retire back to their work because may be I didn’t meet their taste. I look around in the conference room, the right wall on my side is loaded with articles and events of the company and that gives a huge insight on the company’s cycle of events. Further, the things I do to kill time:

  1. Occasionally check the skin of chairs
  2. Click some ugly selfies
  3. Touch the glass window and imagine how it would feel like to fall off
  4. Stare at the bean bag in red
  5. Wonder how will people run for their lives during an Earthquake
  6. Rotate my head towards the staff and see if the same people are working
  7. Recall the incident that happened in 4th grade and feel embarrassed

I decide to spend some more time in the washroom. I get the directions from the same white girl. I take right and realize the door demands more strength than I am blessed with. Like a magic wand, I take out the strength from my umbilical cord since birth, put my entire force and look around if no one saw me.

The washroom is like those superior ones you find in big offices, airports and hotels. Those places which require training to use a tap. I play with the tap for a while, flip hair here and there and kill some more time. It’s time again to demonstrate my talent of opening that heavy door with the strength of Thor.

I cling to the door knob and dangle to and fro like a child in a swing. Thank heavens! There is no one to see me in this state. Panting and gasping my breath, I take myself out. The office boy is organizing the glasses, he gives me a suspicious look and wonders if I settled a bomb inside. Never mind, I win the battle.

I am back in the room and now the senior manager finally decides to initiate the interview because the concerned person hasn’t reached yet. He decides to ready his handgun and put it on my head and yes, there begins the bombardment. “Why, Why so many switches?”

I retire back to my poker face, take a deep breath and say, “They just happened.” The handgun is still consistent. Meanwhile, the corporate communication personnel enters. The smart female seems to have fought with the world and traffic to reach office. She finally sits in peace, rests her chin on her fist, looks at me through those Elizabethan glasses and swaying gold ‘plaited’ hair.

She is a good listener and a speaker too. But, the gun is still on me. After a cop kind interrogation, the senior manager finally decides to feel peace and talk life. The communication personnel leaves for her work. I am told, “We shall get back to you soon.”

It’s been forever.

Pic courtesy – Google

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The Bobby Pins!


Part 1Forest

Mrs. Rai Bahadur had just tucked some Bobby pins into her bun and was busy getting ready for the feast when suddenly she heard a thud in the backyard.

“Oh! Good lord! These monkeys.” Mrs. Rai Bahadur screeched in shock.

“Madam, please calm down. I will just chase them away.” Said Dyal, a loyal staff of Mrs. Rai Bahadur. He had been serving the Rai Bahadur family for last two decades.

Mrs. Rai Bahadur was known for her radiant beauty, poise and gait in the village of Samantra. Even though her husband, Mr. Rai Bahadur was a highly esteemed zamindaar in the village but his wife always won more hearts of people. It was her grounded colloquial skills, wit and intelligence that made her achieve fame across people of Samantra. People were in awe with the striking beauty and her kindness.

Both Mr. and Mrs. Rai Bahadur were in the early forties blessed with glorious sons. Their age had no effect on their appearance rather they seemed more in love with each passing day.  While Mr. Rai Bahadur seemed to be a strict gentleman who spoke less and minded his own business, his wife seemed softer and more approachable.

It was their sweet and sour relationship that made them a favorite in Samantra.  Once in every year, the couple with their sons Rudra and Abhishek would give free food to the poor in their palace. The feast would follow distribution of clothes and blankets. Both sons were in their early teens and were considered the most well behaved and well brought up children. The family seemed to be a connoisseur to eyes of common people.

It was that feast day today and Mrs. Rai Bahadur was leaving no stone unturned in the preparations. She had ordered the clothes and had checked with cooking preparations.

Just when she felt she was ready, she called Dyal.

“Dyal, I think the monkey left her baby in the backyard. It is crying. Could you just take it and leave it in the woods.” Suggested Mrs. Rai Bahadur.

“Yes, madam! I shall do it.” Dyal answered.

For some reason Mrs. Rai Bahadur felt a lump in her throat.

Part 2

“Sir, it is a dead body in a very bad position. It has bites in several places in the body and the case seems to be just like the previous one.” Said Khempal, a constable from Samantra village while trying to wade off the foul smell and fiddling with his handkerchief.

“So, are you going to take this case again as a matter of animal bite?” Asked a worried Soham Singh towards his fellow officer Vikram.

There followed a detailed discussion on both the bodies found. Soham was a police commissioner at the Samantra police station and while Vikram was of his age but junior by designation. The village of Samantra was vastly known for its fertile land and the dense jungle. Most of the villagers survived on farming and used to reap major profits. They specialized in wheat which was later supplied to other parts of the country. The jungle remained a dreaded center where least people wanted to go. As a matter of fact, the forest of Samantra was famous in North India for its heavy density, tropical climate and the wild animals.

Both the officers were in debate trying to keep their opinions first.

“Instead of debating, we need to get deeper to the case I think.” Suggested Vikram.

“That seems to be much better justification than the ones you have been giving me since the time we have come back.” Said Soham.

“I didn’t aim to offend you but it is quite unusual to believe that if it’s not animal bite then what?” Asked Vikram.

Just when Soham was about to give his point of view, Dr. Rajesh appeared with his reports.

“It’s a human bite.” Said Dr. Rajesh, a forensic officer.

Struck with shock, both Soham and Vikram couldn’t contain their emotions.

“It’s nearly impossible! Why on Earth will a human bite someone like an animal?” Asked an agitated Soham.

“Humans are a kind of animal too.” Answered Dr.Rajesh.

“It’s not a very good time for a joke doctor.” Soham retorted back.

“Peace!” Vikram tried to intervene and calm down both men.

“We have to peacefully handle the case. Four deaths have been reported already.” Vikram tried to explain them.

Part 3

“There seems to be some commotion in the village. Have you tried to get any news about it?” Inquired Mrs. Rai Bahadur.

“Yes! There seems to be some death of a young man in the village. He was bitten by some animal it seems.” Said Mr.Rai Bahadur as he turned another page of his book.

“What? When did this happen? How can you be so calm at this, Rai Saab?” A stunned Mrs. Rai Bahadur reacted.

“What do you expect? Did I let him go in the woods? We have several times alerted villagers not to go near the jungle. Is it my fault?” Mr. Rai Bahadur put his opinion in the best possible manner.

“What about his family? What will happen to them?” Asked a concerned Mrs. Rai Bahadur.

“Are you seriously this worried about that family?” Asked Mr.Rai Bahadur.

“What do you mean? I am definitely concerned. I shall go to meet the family tomorrow.” Answered Mrs. Rai Bahadur.

“As you wish.” Mr. Rai Bahadur replied.

The next morning, Mrs. Bahadur with Dyal and other two staff went to see the bereaved family. She was distressed at the sight and found it difficult to contain pain for the family.

Seeing the mourning mother, Mrs. Rai Bahadur quickly went to her so as to console.

“I am really sorry to hear this. You have to be strong.” Said Mrs. Bahadur.

“I do not know madam, what happened overnight? Everything ended.” Said the inconsolable mother.

“Why did you let him go to the woods? You know there are so many animals there.” Asked Mrs. Bahadur.

“He was telling me for a last few days that he could hear some humane voice. I asked him not to pay attention to it. But he didn’t.” Responded the mother. Just as she said this, she fell unconscious and some of the other members came to support.

“Human??” Shocked Mrs. Rai Bahadur tried to collect herself after hearing this.

“Madam, let’s go back. It’s getting darker. People are here to take care of her.” Dyal tried to comfort Mrs. Rai Bahadur.

Vikram and Soham gave their greetings to her while she left for her palace.

“Did you hear what the mother said to Mrs Bahadur?” Confirmed Vikram.

“Yes, I did. I am perplexed at the reports given by the family.” Answered Soham.

“So am I. In fact, the same thing was said by a relative in the last case. Where do we begin the investigation from?” Vikram asked.

“We need to start from the scratch.” Answered Soham.

“It’s quite difficult to fathom such a case. I have never come across like this.” Said Vikram.

“I think it’s too early to call it a weird case. Until, we do thorough investigation, nothing can be said. Till now, we were either calling it an animal bite case or something done by vultures. But, it doesn’t seem anything either.”  Said Soham.

“Let’s get to the basics then.” Responded Vikram.

Part 4

“These deaths are not natural Rai Saab.” Said Mrs. Rai Bahadur

“What makes you feel so?” Responded Mr. Bahadur

“Police spoke to village people and it seems, the deceased were attracted to some human voice.” Said Mrs. Rai Bahadur

“Are you kidding me? The jungle is dense and no man goes there. We have even restricted any kind of wooden work too. Have you forgotten the lion attack years from now that happened?” Mr. Bahadur

“Yes, we lost one of our staffs in that incident. I don’t want to remember the blood curdling roar.” A terrified Mrs. Rai Bahadur said.

“You even dread to remember that and you call these deaths unusual. This is a simple case of animal attack.” Mr. Rai Bahadur tried to justify.

“But, something hits me bad.” Mrs. Rai Bahadur said.

“You are simply worried and stressed. I think you should rest now.” Said Mr. Rai Bahadur. He helped his wife to calm down and go to sleep.

While leaving the room, Mr. Rai Bahadur asked, “Or are you thinking something else?”

Part 5

Several months passed by but the entire police team could not resolve the mystery of those deaths. Meanwhile, they collected information from the bereaved families and the one staying closer to the jungle.

“What does your research say Vikram?” Inquired Soham.

“If I start elaborating them, you may again call it a matter of fiction. So, should I?” Answered Vikram.

“Well, again I should tell you, I am not here for fun. No gimmicks as well. Better come to the point.” Said Soham.

“Ok. As we spoke to the bereaved families first, they said, their son was talking about a human voice coming from jungle and that it was more of womanly nature.” Said Vikram.

“No wonder why they went to jungle. Because it was womanly. Good grief!”  Chuckled Soham.

“Who is joking now Soham?” Taunted Vikram.

“I am not really. But this information seems to be gibberish. Never mind carry on.” Said Soham.

“The residents near the jungle who are mostly untouchables said that they occasionally listen to howling voice. Once, the voice was right at the border. Over the period of time, the voice calling has reduced due to our police constables and guards doing the rounds at the location.” Informed Vikarm.

“I see. I think, Vikram, it is time to take weapons in our hands and reach the location ourselves and find out what is the real deal?” Said Soham.

“I understand, what is the plan but?” Asked Vikram.

“We will have to hit the jungle ourselves. With a team, we can start the hunt. We just can’t sit at the border and inspect the case. Can we?” Said Soham.

“Fine, we shall. When do you want to?” Asked Vikram.

“Tomorrow morning.” Said Soham.

Part 6

“Hope you all have the guns and knives. You are not supposed to attack till I command.” Announced Soham.

Soham had created a team five people and among them, two were the natives of the village. Loaded with arms, the team paved their way towards the jungle. Surrounded by greens in all angles, the team took a leap of courage. The team kept their arms ready even at the slightest move of a leaf. Seeing their presence, may deers and antelopes were seen running away in fear.

“We shouldn’t go much deeper because we don’t know the routes. We may get lost. Need to understand which ones are the routes.” Said Vikram.

“First analyze this section. Hope, we get some clue within this range.” Said Soham.

“I don’t hear a morsel of voice humanly voice these country people said. Just tadpoles and ants talking to each other.  Said Vikram.

“Don’t you remember, Khempal said that due to human commotion around, these voices just vanish? Said Soahm.

“Yes! Then! They bit humans too. What you mean by that?” Said Vikram.

“That means the animals are highly shrewd and know how to hide themselves.” Said Soahm.

“Men, it’s getting dark. Let’s get back.” Announced Soham to the team.

Eyes from the middle of leaves glared at the team walking towards the village. Hands glided down to a fruit hung around a bark that low in height.

Part 7

For next few days, the team kept doing the investigation and would locate the team members in different location. Investogation was in full swing till one day Khempal was attacked. In the middle of bushes, Khempal was lying in a pool of blood. Crying for help in agony and pain, he pointed towards a certain direction in the jungle.

Vikram supported Khempal’s head and helped him feel better.

“We are taking you to the nearby medical help. Don’t lose hope. Ok?” Said Soham in support.

“No sir! It’s too late. I may not survive till then. Please just listen my last words on whatever I saw. May be it will help.”  Said an ailing Khempal.

“You cannot say this. We will do everything for you. What did you see?” Asked Vikram.

“An nude woman in long hair. A witch, aaaa….aaaa.” Khempal lost his breath and never regained it.

Part 8

“That loyal constable, yes yes Khempal, oh! He died? ” Shocked Mrs. Bahadur screamed.

“That’s why I never want to tell you anything. Please calm down. The team went too deep in the forest and something like this was probable. Please do not stress yourself.” Mr. Rai Bahadur tried to comfort his wife.

“I need to speak to the head of the team before they start on their voyage.” Mrs. Bahadur said.

“What will you speak about?” Mr. Rai Bahadur interrogated.

“I want to know in detail that actually killed him.” Mrs. Bahadur said.

“Well, disturbing elements are coming up. Even I am little baffled. But, we need to keep patience till the Vikram and Soham tell us.” Said Mr. Rai Bahadur. “It cannot be a woman.” Whispered Mr. Rai Bahadur within himself gazing at the window.

“Woman? What did you say? Tell me.” Asked a curious Mrs. Bahadur.

“Calm down! We shall meet them the day they come from their next round of investigation. Till then peace!” Mr. Rai Bahadur.

Part 9

“After Khempal, this is our next voyage and probably, the last. My people, this is it! Don’t lose hope, keep calm and be alert. Do not get swayed by anything mythical. Keep your ammunitions ready.” Announced Soham.

“Yes sir!” Said the team in chorus.

Soham and Vikram lead the team deep in the forest. This time, they went in the direction Khempal had pointed to. This region was largely dominated by wolves and maximum amount of howling voices would come from here.

The team walked with as minimalistic noise as possible.  Their guns were in their hand, they were small steps to reach the interior. Suddenly, there was a noise of thud.

“Sir, Gopal has fallen it seems. Please stop.” Said another constable Dina. Immediately, the rest of the team rushed to Gopal who could be heard crying in pain.

“Who is that? Who is there?” Screamed Soham after he sensed something unnatural.

Dina tried to divert Soham’s attention towards ailing Gopal. The team tried to give some medical aid and console him.

“Sir, it’s a woman wolf. Please run to chase her.” Said Gopal.

“There is something really notorious happening in here!” Exclaimed Soham.

While Dina was asked to stay with Gopal, Vikram, Soham and Kaushal head to the bushes to catch hold of creature. With all arms set, the team went in the Dina pointed to.

“Look at that!” said Kaushal.

“Ssshhh! Do you understand the cost you will have to pay for being this loud?” Said Vikram.

The team sensed a creature in their vicinity. At pin drop silence, the team decided to be a silent spectator and all set to attack. Just when they readied their guns, they were stunned and shocked.

A nude woman walked on her four limbs, those nails went a foot long. Her waist length hair was messy, she didn’t bathe in ages it seems. She was eating a dead rat, moving like an animal to and fro. She could have been mere 18, she was sniffing the ground occasionally and making noises. Her fist more like an animal smartly moved around the bushes. One could easily claim, she was sparkling white but the dust and dirt had covered her all.

Before, the team could settle what they had seen, a family of wolves came near her. They murmured in their language, and suddenly they howled. The woman howled too just like the rest.

“It’s beyond my assumption what I am seeing.” Said Vikram.

“We can’t be here anymore. It’s time to attack.” Said Soham from another set of bushes.

And in no time, there was a noise of huge gun firing. Within no time, the herd of wolves and the woman were dead.

“Take the body to village. We need to investigate.” Order Soham.

“Cover her!” Added Vikram.

Part 10

Almost entire village had come to see the body of woman wolf. That is how people were addressing her as. Traumatized to see a woman’s body covered in a white sheet, villagers couldn’t fathom the fact there lived a woman in the woods. People spoke in hush hush tons about how beautiful she was, she had long hair and if she was a witch. Talks went on among men and women while children with their curious eyes observed her.

“Please calm down! Please! In the war with the wolves, we came across this. She is also responsible for killing our constable Gopal. I am sorry about that. We made several gunshots and instantly killed her and the rest. We are yet to investigate what made this woman reach here.” Announced Soham.

Just in the rush, both Mr. and Mrs. Rai Bahadur made way to the place. They staff helped them get inside and have a closer look. Pushing people aside, Mrs. Rai Bahadur finally came near to the body.

She fell on her knees and felt something unusual. To peoples’ surprise, Mrs. Rai Bahadur cried at the loudest like no other. Disturbed and unprepared, Mr.Rai Bahadur tried to console her. He kept his eyes low and hoped, no one should realize anything.

“What happened ma’am?” Asked Vikram.

“My daughter! I abandoned her.” Answered an inconsolable and guilt stricken Mrs. Rai Bahadur.

 

Pic courtesy – Internet

 

 

 

13 Things you see at a North Indian wedding


Come November and I see people running errands with kit and kin.  weddings imageReason – weddings! It’s like everybody is getting married, in fact many seem to be celebrating anniversaries by executing a marriage ceremony again.

The other day I was invited at a North Indian wedding, a typical one. Following are the things you come across during an Indian wedding and what you should do:

  1. The food– The reason why everybody attends a wedding. There is a certain chronology associated with eating at weddings. The code of behavior is– enter-give gifts-fake smile-fake pose-run for the snacks counter!  You should start with the snacks corner first and then graduate to the main course. This is where your nose plays a very critical role, you have to sniff a lot. Most probably as you enter the venue, you can put your nose at work.  Sniff, sniff and sniff and flow towards gol gappa, chaat, chila etc. If you don’t run for gol gappa and chila then you do not deserve to be a guest at a north Indian wedding. No matter how early you reach the counter, there will always be a chunk of women and kids dangling around the snacks guys. The aunty whom you are following happens to be there till eternity, no aim to move. The alignment of snacks involves – gol gappa, tikki, chila, some moradabadi dal, paav bhaaji and like that. Don’t get teary eyed if the kid at the Chila counter plays the children’s card and gets the chila first simply by jumping and putting his hand up in the chaos. Concentrate on romancing the Chila guy. Just opposite of snacks, you shall find fruits and beverages section. This is how the stalls are aligned. Not everybody goes for fruits and all but still, it’s free and you should still make space in your almirah. Because, it is free and you should eat it.You are not supposed to venture directly to the main course food. Even if you decide, make yourself mentally prepared to walk one mile from snacks stall. I think the geography is intentionally created so intense so that you walk a little and digest what all you ate a while ago. Main course usually has burnt naan, chole, dal makhni, rice, dahi bhalla, etc. Never compromise on eating until your stomach decides to go on a strike. It is a suggestion to take every 5 minutes break in between every food item and between snacks and main course. This way you shall try every item, every grain, every lettuce, every seed, another guests’ plate, every little thing!  You can also confirm that you ate everything by slightly craning your eyes to peoples’ plate around you. One more tip, people usually run to the main course just as the buffet is open, so keep a track on the opening! On your marks, get set, spartaaaaannnnsssss! Tip: Never trust an invitation card which has no mention of ‘Pritibhoj’.
  2. Gate crashing engineering students – The total number of engineering students is divided into categories like 1. Writing books, 2. Chasing girls 3. Chasing people for free smoke 4. Introspecting life 5. Hoping placements in their 5th birth and 6. Chasing food. You can put the entire engineering brigade under the 6th section. They are all looking for food. If you find a gang of young men in ill fitted suits, understand they observed fast for last 10 days. Let them eat in peace and check out women because they don’t get any otherwise.
  3. Aunties eyeing the potential bride and groom – If you fall in a marriageable age then better learn a trick or two to avoid these aunties. In case, you are married already, good lord gracious! Few tips you can practice are – don’t appear in front of any aunty ji as much possible but if do, speak in some hi-fi English, walk like a maniac, dance with the guys at the DJ, try some alcohol at the beverages counter, toss hair, behave like an ill-mannered woman. And if you are really keen on getting married then who else is a savior than an auntyji. Go, right in perpendicular direction towards, don’t look right or left just straight. Help her do everything, help her in dance, meet her in the loo, help her flush, do anything. Run towards her like a magnet.
  4. Eye guys, eye girls, eye everyone, just eye! – It is a rule for the aunties to eye others – men, women, babies, to-be babies, everybody. The logic is to scan them head to toe, their clothes, their sandals, their inner wear, their nose size etc. The objective is to judge. Just judge.
  5. The hypochondriac uncle who ate all gulab jamuns and stole Paneer – If you didn’t steal Paneer from the curry, you again don’t deserve an invitation in a wedding. When you take Paneer, you are supposed to filter all the cubes from the curry leaving no morsel for the person following you. That’s the way you eat at a wedding. Generosity be damned! Same goes for Gulab Jamuns. Take as much as you can. Just Take.
  6. The robotic bride and groom – They do not know anything because they are busy curbing their emotions and managing their dress code. Simple formula for bride and groom – FAKE SMILE.
  7. The Baraat that gave complex to IRCTC and that Naagin dance – It is a social custom for the baraat to arrive late at the venue otherwise how they will justify their dignity. Dance is supposed to take place at every inch, stopping everything for like 15 mins, starting again, stopping again and making sure the traffic goes for a toss. Usually, chamko chamko sarees do the needful to the drivers – a big flash in the eyes and whoosshhhh! Aaj mere yaar ki shaadi hai! Just exchanging garlands doesn’t prove a holy matrimony in India, but also the Naagin dance on road does. Never control that urge of ruining dance steps, never. Just jump in the middle of the group, take out that handkerchief that you used to blow your nose into, move right and left, kick the guy on your side, do extra moves with the women, hug the lamp post, dance just dance. Also, signify your presence with your pistol even if you have no training in handling it, target anyone in this case! This Naagin dance is strictly for only men and women wearing chamko chamko Sarees and lehenga should do it at their own risk. We can’t imagine you rolling like a snake on road with a hanky and if the intolerance in the country raises by one degree, you know why and what you did there.
  8. The great Indian dance at the DJ – Once, baraat dance has happened; it is time to display your prowess at the DJ floor. ‘Dance like no one is watching’ people take it seriously here. This time, you have more power, you are more drunk, and you have more chicks around. Trip on women like Niagra falls, ape Jackson and impress some female in chamko chamko saree with your talent. For girls, first say no to whosoever invites you for dance. Say no twice may be thrice but not the fourth time, chances are you may not be called again. Now, that you are on the DJ floor, first throw some tantrums, get coy unnecessarily, act like you can’t dance, target the cutest guy on the floor and BECOME BLOODY NINJA AT ONE STROKE.
  9. Sleeveless blouses, January & thermometer – No matter to what degree is the weather plummeting, remain semi naked! Keep your chest up and face high. This wedding, this very wedding is the platform where you can erupt the molten lava of Manish Malhotra from you. It is compulsory to wear a sleeveless blouse with a saree that distinguishes you between 1 thousand bulbs and lights. Roam in every distant corner possible to show your saree because you purchased it for a fortune. Let every Baraati know, let every waiter know and let every kin know. Do not show even single remorse of not wearing anything warm or slight chance of sneeze. It calls for a talent. Beat that! Also, if you see couple of brides raiding gol gappa wala, do not get dreaded at the sight. They are not the brides. They are sisters, sister-in-laws etc. who had got married just a few months before attending this. They need a place where they can demonstrate ‘various uses of Lehenga post wedding’.
  10. The ever annoyed and further disappointed waiter – Waiters are traditionally more annoyed than the bride’s father. Just accept it because he may turn another serial killer. They are there to tell you how you couldn’t have managed good food otherwise. If the fourth time the same waiter comes to you and you are still planning to refuse, don’t. The point is often these waiters carry the same item, so you can’t take paneer tikka always, you want something. If you are a guy, just tag around some pretty chick in the wedding and you shall get every damn snack you were longing for. Also, there could be some high maintenance waiters who may ignore you, the hand that you had waved to him, wave the same to an unknown guest in the wedding. Tackle the awkwardness with poise just the way the camera guy ignored you.
  11. The official owner of the wedding, the cameraman, the superman – When it is an Indian wedding, cameraman is the sole owner. He is the one who will tell you how to walk, breathe, fart, pose, dance, exchange garlands etc. For instance, he will ask you to standstill and still take a video. You have to just stand there and smile, rather fake smile. Also, pose with poise while you are eating and that is a war especially when a ton of food is in your mouth, and your balloon like face is struggling to smile. Same goes with the dance floor poses, do not dance when the camera guy is around. Just pose, may be a typical balle balle pose, pointing your index fingers up signifying the success of the wedding. Coming to the rituals, when the guy’s parents meets girl’s, the camera guy asks them to clasp their bellies to each other and demonstrate the courtesies.  Right from ring ceremony to the point when the girls floods her entire house with water, the camera guy is more pivotal than anybody else.
  12. That girl on the phone– I do not know if it is a protocol or something but almost in every wedding, I have found there is one girl always on phone. Someone who is either in late teens or early twenties maximally, in western wear (with specs) thoroughly engaged over phone. She is excessively busy, she is high maintenance, she is a misfit in an Indian wedding and seems to be a forced guest. No idea, if she gets some package, some extra talk time or something, but she is on phone. Always!
  13. Bride’s sister or the best friend moving like a tadpole – Even if there is no work, this best friend and sister walk like they own the wedding. The activities often involve handling the lehenga, giggling like Mukri, getting clicked in a million angles, becoming part of every family group, passing by the cameras, dancing at the Dj, occasionally meeting the robotic bride, etc.

Picture courtesy – Internet

 

 

Chennai floods – the mark of tolerance


There is no Romeo Juliet kind love for South India but this post is just an explanation of what integrity and humanity mean.Temple-429x310

Had it been North in the same calamity, people would have ripped apart each other for money, food and shelter. The current disaster in Chennai reminds me of Uttarakhand crisis when several cases of loot and molestation were reported. So much so, that even people took away gold ornaments and money from dead bodies.

While I kept myself updated with Chennai news, I also observed how people stood in unison with each other to meet the crisis. Taking a small example, where food packets were being delivered on terraces and woman waved hand to say no to any more packet delivery. Such an extraordinary gesture!

Not just common men and women bur celebrities like Madhavan and Siddharth who are selflessly volunteering in various relief works. It is outstanding on their part and displays amount of respect they have for their origins.

There is a lot one can learn from Chennai people at this hour of crisis and pain. My heart goes out to all who are struggling for basic amenities and survival. I know it is going to be another set of stressed task to come back to regular life where people will have to spend a fortune on their damaged property, house and things. Hope everything gets back to the same shape as before.

Picture courtesy – http://www.skymetweather.com/

Tamasha – Movie review


19_09_2015-tamasha_ranbirNo matter how picturesque is your film, it never compensates a poor script. That’s Tamasha for you! It is a good film with both positive parts and major loopholes. To begin with, let me speak the positive aspects of the movie.

You are two – Each time you watch Imtiaz Ali direction, you are immediately split into two. One, who is struggling in traffic, paying bills, earning everyday bread and the second who wants to paint, sing or act, the one you have been curbing inside. There is something so kosher about Ali, his scripts and his thoughts to shake people from the inside.

Ranbir Kapoor – I have always been a fan of his for the acting skills. The way he dilutes a character in himself, the way he delivers dialogues, and his talent in dancing – a complete package. Most importantly, the way he delivers those key details, for instance throwing the books off the table and again picking them up because he knew it was an obligation or crying as he reaches back his room. He showed the struggle he has been through and how his passion keeps overshadowing every society based system or what we call it a ‘race’.

Corsica – Just as the movie started, I felt if the movie was a big TVC for tourism in Corsica. But then when you are watching Imtiaz Ali direction, you are bound to have a virtual trip. No wonder, the place is beautiful and definitely seems to be another sure shot honeymoon destination in 2016.

Drive for passion – I don’t think if there is any other film maker who really shakes the conscience in you and tells you that you have a passion and you should pursue it.  The film takes you deep down in your heart, channelizes your thoughts and makes you ask “is this what you wanted?”

A piece of art – I whole heartedly appreciate the filmmaker for his eye to detail. It was such a beautiful delight. The film takes you through the old world charm architecture, gardens, staircase laden with plants and flowers, people clad in traditional attire, processions, and a plethora of scenic beauty. In every angle, every shot, you could feel a charm of its own. Same goes for the detailing integrated in the scenes taken in India. The cinematographer deserves brownie points for capturing Hauz Khas, and others parts of Delhi so beautifully.

Those negative points

Crossing the line – Is it possible for two good looking people from different genders decide not to cross the line even after staying in one place? Did Ali refer to “Not always the same story” with this?

Connotation – Just as the movie starts, you are thrown a good number of shots right from Ramayana to some excerpt in Bible. May be it gets little tough to comprehend the first part rather first 45 minutes. Quite possible within when people easily judge a film and call it a bore or complex.

Those dragging moments – This is in connection to the aforementioned point. In places, it felt like an ongoing process, the Ramayana scenes or the robot. Or may we have become a little less patient. Rising intolerance I must say.

Not always the same story, still the same story – It is palpable that we are born to fall in love. Given a picturesque location behind, a good looking arm candy and money to eat at plush restaurants, likeness happens. But why one loses his job while the girl remains intact at her work? Of all the things, why? Why not a girl this time who loses everything to purse her passion?

I will recommend this movie to all those how look beyond things in life, their passion, their will to break the stereo type and become unique. If you are looking for mundane song and dance, action, thrill or may some cliché Hindi saga, this movie is not for you!

Picture courtesy – Internet