Working in a corporate is an experience in itself. It’s just not the work experience that matters but the type of people you
meet and the lessons you get for life. I have penned down 12 types of people you generally get to see in a typical office. Hope, you all will like it and appreciate it. This content is a satirical post and should be taken in high spirits.
- Mr. /Ms. Nose poke – They want to know everything, every damn thing. Who said what to whom, how much appraisal did she get? Why did so and so resigned? What went wrong with the coffee vending machine? Basically everything! It is fine as long as they do not do any harm but then aren’t we aware there is huge scarcity of integrity in this world?
- Mr. /Ms. Gossip monger – This is in association with above point. Almost every company on this planet has at least one ‘let me be the postman’ executive. I must say they do the job with great agility. From one person to another, the speed that they maintain, Usain Bolt might get a complex. The pain area is the message that finally gets delivered was different when it started. All this chaos gives birth to rumors and ruptured dignity of someone who was innocent in the first place.
- Ms. Bobbi Brown – She breathes Chanel, Mango, Zara and some more words that I have always read in the banner ads. She has just started earning money and probably she has no liabilities. Her money falls like Niagra water falls. She is Miss Tantrum too, she cannot fathom why her colleague sitting next to her is so plain Jane. This colleague is ‘I am my own world’ and looking good is the only objective. She knows men like her so why leave any stone unturned. So, here is the entire display of her latest collection – Her online merchandise tip to toe. Walking across the floor is like her anthem for the day.
- Mr. / Ms. arrogant – Two minutes of silence for them ladies and gentlemen, just two minutes. They were delivered at the hospital not because their mother complained of labor pain because his highness permitted the doctors finally. They consider themselves second to none. The Ms. arrogant is someone who is worthy of Ms. Bobbi Brown. Mr. arrogant is like ‘ladko ka Aishwarya Rai’ in the office. He walks down the floor and women fall flat for him, he gives Gerard Butler a run for money – that is all he thinks he is but is not.
- Mr. / Ms. Flirt – Do I need to say more? Yes, they exist like ants do in every hole. Mr. Flirt is married, he has kids but of all, flirting is in his protocol. They cannot rest in peace if they haven’t complimented you even when you were in torn clothes, had a bad hair day or you just returned from a massacre. They scan your nail paint, the pony tail which refused to be settled, your dress that you wore in hassle because every girl is not Miss Bobbi Brown or your bag which may soon celebrate retirement.
- Mr. / Ms. ‘no matter what I am the boss’ – He is usually not the boss but is waiting to be. For him, whatever he does is correct because he is the best. Because he received ‘best employee award’ one million years ago. He wants his suggestions to be implemented; he cannot take it if someone else is trying to advise him.
- Mr. / Ms. ‘wealthy still starving for the first week of the month’ – He/she has huge property back in the native, they have a family business being run by father and brothers, they have wealth that he or she is still counting. But, he/she cannot pay his rent because he/she hasn’t received his salary. He/she loves to be self-dependent and family business is ‘Oh not so cool’ but showing off is.
- Mr. / Ms. Work alcoholic – Rare but real, they righteously exist and mind their own business. They work hard and invest their time in work. They constructively work to lead the project and meet with the requirements and sometimes, they miss out on the limelight. They suffer when they don’t act smart and when they do they spear head no matter what.
- Mr. / Ms. Sherlock Homes – They always want to know what the senior management is upto, what is the next news in the organization etc etc. From next office trip to annual event, they want the information even if they will hardly contribute to the company in any way. They are basically good for nothing. They are the potential people who can be promoted to Mr. or Ms. gossip monger.
- Mr. / Ms. Butterman – India produces more buttermen then milk itself. They lick their bosses and that works wonders for them. They find solace in doing so more than doing their actual work. You may find them quickly pretending to work just as the boss passes by. They may compliment the boss beyond any limits and may run around them like a newly orphaned dog.
- Mr. / Ms. always switching jobs – There are several dimensions in this section. The first type is the one where they keep on searching jobs but stay at one job like forever and then there is another type who ready to switch jobs within every two months. They are perennially looking for something even they do not know. They are unsettled and they are not at peace ever.
- Mr. and Ms. Lovebirds – They first met at a coffee vending machine and from the machine, they reached the cafeteria and like that they basked in the glory of love and violins. And then, the entire office got 35 mm movie everyday till they broke up, parted and married someone else. And unfortunately, they fell prey to the public scrutiny too which in many ways hampered their daily lives.
Pic courtesy – Google